For some families, the grades may be the first thing you see. However, they aren’t necessarily showing you the whole story. A child may be struggling to keep up, feeling overwhelmed by homework, avoiding reading, becoming frustrated, or losing confidence in their abilities. What seemed easy when they were in first or second grade may now be becoming more challenging.
You may also notice that your once regulated, easygoing child is now acting out, not sleeping well, or doesn’t want to go to school anymore.
Everything may have seemed to be going fine, and then you notice your child is having a harder time keeping up in class or may even be falling behind. You might be wondering, “Is something going on?”
Try asking your child how they feel about school and whether anything seems challenging. If they are in early elementary school, they may be open about sharing, even if they aren’t quite sure how to tell you what is wrong.
As they get older, your child may not want to talk about their grades or school in general, especially if things aren’t going well with their classes, a teacher, or other students.
If they aren’t open to sharing about how things are going, choose one of the ideas below and see what patterns you notice.
- Does your child get emotional after school?
You’re looking for a change from how they used to be after school compared to this school year. - Does homework take longer with certain subjects? If so, which ones?
- Do they not want to go to school, or say they have a tummy ache or something else?
As you quietly observe one of the choices above, write down what you notice in a journal or notepad.
You may also notice their confidence beginning to slide. When you do, you can assure them that everyone struggles with school at different times. You can show empathy without accepting misbehavior.
Have you heard of the “Golden Rule” before? It states, “Treat others as you would have them treat you.” It’s a great guide for how we treat other people.
However, when your child is struggling, try using the “Platinum Rule.” It means treating others the way they want and need to be treated.
For your child, this means acknowledging their feelings and the challenges they are going through. Instead of immediately trying to solve the problem for them or telling them what you would do if you were in their situation, pause and think about what your child needs from you right now.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone
One place to begin is by reaching out to your child’s teacher and talking with them about your concerns. You can also reach out to your child’s pediatrician. They may have insights you haven’t thought about, such as whether your child is having difficulty with their vision.
When you’re gathering more information, simply ask your child’s teacher what they’re noticing. It’s completely up to you if you want to share the patterns you’ve observed. However, in this initial conversation, you don’t need to share everything.
The same goes for contacting the pediatrician. You can simply let them know you’ve noticed some differences and ask if they have any insights.
At this point, it’s more about gathering information than overwhelming yourself with everything that might be going on. You don’t need to figure it all out at once.
A Place to Begin
Other people who can help you are other moms, such as close friends, your sisters, or your own mom.
And if you use social media, there may be local mom groups you can join. You don’t have to post what you are going through. You can simply use the group as a resource and see what other moms have shared that may be like what your child is experiencing.
Read the comments and see what resonates with you. If something doesn’t, let that idea go.
A place to begin is about choosing one thing and discovering what might be part of your child’s struggles. It isn’t about figuring everything out right now.
As you learn more about the one thing your child needs, the next step will be there when you’re ready. Little by little, the pieces will begin to fall into place.
Book a Discovery Call if you’re wondering how to support your child’s learning journey.
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