Try something different today when you walk back into your home after being gone for a little bit and look at it as if you’re walking into a friend’s house. What do you notice?
Do you have artwork displayed on your fridge or a cabinet? A basket full of shoes once everyone is home? School work from a day of homeschooling, or backpacks dropped by the back door when your children got home? Take a deep breath and utter a phrase of gratitude for what your home holds. You are doing an amazing amount of juggling to keep your household thriving! It may not always feel that way, but you are doing some really good things for your family!
Your home may not look like the homes you see in magazines or on social media, and it doesn't need to. It needs to be home for the people who live there.
If you were with your best friend, sister, or mom, what would you tell her you would want to adjust in your home to make just one thing go more smoothly? Below are some possibilities that you might want to create in your home.
You don't need to reorganize your entire home. Choose one area that could support your family's rhythm a little better and start there.
Rhythms aren't rigid routines.
There is a difference between a routine that tells you exactly what must happen at 5:00, 5:15, and 5:30 and a family rhythm that gives everyone a sense of what comes next. Life with children rarely goes exactly as planned. Someone forgets their homework, an appointment runs late, a child has a meltdown, or an unexpected activity gets added to the calendar. A rhythm gives your family a framework without making you feel like you've failed when the day doesn't go according to plan.
Option 1: Create a Rhythm for Coming Home
Create a system for the high traffic areas and all the paper that comes home during the school year. For example, would a drop zone for backpacks, shoes, and jackets be helpful to eliminate morning chaos? If this is your trouble spot, designate a place for backpacks, lunch boxes, shoes, and jackets so everyone knows where they belong.
Option 2: Create Rhythms Around the Spaces
Creating rhythms around the spaces in your home can help you maintain some semblance of order. Create a family command center for calendars, forms, a charging station, and keys.
If space is limited, use vertical space, like an over-the-door shoe organizer. For example, you could put it on the inside of your child’s closet door to help organize hair accessories, action figures, or card games. The possibilities are endless. Engage your children to help you, as they have great ideas and see things from a different perspective.
Option 3: Simplify a Daily Rhythm
What recurring part of your day creates the most friction? Could you create a simple rhythm around it?
Maybe find a weekly meal plan online, even with dietary needs, so you have ready-to-go meals on hand, like rotisserie chicken or freezer staples. Or make muffins or sheet pancakes during the weekend so breakfast can be warmed up in the oven and ready to eat. Just choose one thing above.
A home runs more peacefully when the spaces and systems support the family's rhythms.
One Unconventional Rhythm to Try: Eat Dinner First
What if you changed the order of your evening so that your family had more breathing room?
Whether you homeschool, pick up your children from school or daycare, or an after-school activity, try eating dinner as soon as you get home. No, really! Eat dinner first, even though it might be somewhere around 5:00 PM. I can hear you saying, “Is she serious?” Yes, I am!
Here’s why this may help your evening run more smoothly:
- Your kids are hungry around 5:00 PM.
- When your kids eat dinner first, it can keep them from filling up on snacks and not being hungry for dinner. WOMP!
- As you are eating, everyone can share their highs and lows from their day. Or as my granddaughter likes to say, her “Rainbows and storm clouds” from her day.
- If your child has a game or an activity later, they’ve eaten dinner and can have a snack when they get home.
- And one last reason for eating dinner first is that everyone has time to get outside 30–60 minutes before bedtime. The family can take the dog on a walk, ride their bikes or scooters, or walk to a nearby park. Time outside can help everyone slow down and begin shifting toward bedtime.
Eating dinner first may sound unconventional, but what I really love about this idea is that it creates an anchor for the evening. Instead of everyone coming home hungry, grabbing snacks, rushing to homework, and then trying to figure out when dinner will happen, dinner becomes the first rhythm of the evening. After dinner, your family knows what comes next: perhaps homework, an activity, a walk, showers, or getting ready for bed.
Helping Children Participate in Family Rhythms
Your younger children can begin to learn where to put their backpack and lunch box when they come home, as well as putting their shoes in a designated spot.
A family rhythm isn't something you create once and expect everyone to automatically follow. Especially with younger children, it takes time, reminders, and repetition. You may need to walk alongside your child as they learn what to do when they come through the door. Eventually, what once required several reminders can become part of their natural rhythm.
The same is true as children get older. You can gradually give them more responsibility for the rhythms of your home, whether that's packing their lunch, checking the family calendar, putting away their belongings, or getting ready for the next day. You're not simply creating systems to make your life easier. You're helping your children learn skills that will serve them as they grow.
Your home doesn't need to be perfectly organized. It needs rhythms that help your family know what happens next.
Sometimes you know something needs to change, but you're not sure where to begin. If you're ready for personalized support as you create a calmer, more supportive home for your family, I'd love to talk with you.
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