Morning routines were going so well, and then they weren’t.
You’re wondering what has changed, yet you can’t quite figure it out. Except, it isn’t everyone. It’s more that you notice a piece of homework was left on the table or upstairs in one of your children’s bedrooms.
Hmm! You sit down and think about the times you’ve had a phone call from one of your children saying they left their lunch at home. And, come to think about it, that same child’s backpack is full of crumpled paper.
Messy backpacks. Forgotten lunches. Missing assignments.
How did all the organization you and your family set up work so well, and now it doesn’t seem to be working anymore?
What Is Executive Functioning?
Have you noticed that your child gets overwhelmed when they have to plan, focus, remember instructions, and manage their emotions to get things done?
This is called executive functioning. Executive function is sometimes described as the brain’s air traffic control system.
It helps your child know what needs to happen, get started, stay with it, remember what they need, shift gears, manage emotions, and finish.
What Does Executive Functioning Look Like in Everyday Life?
Executive function is a set of mental skills. It includes working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. We use these skills every day to learn, work, and manage daily life.
When someone has trouble with executive function, it can make it harder to finish a task.
Yes, your child did their homework, but it didn’t make it into their backpack. Or, it made it into their backpack, but not into their homework folder. It ended up at the bottom of their backpack, and when they went to look for it in their homework folder, it wasn’t there.
It could also be like having a personal assistant that helps them:
• Get started
• Stay focused
• Shift between activities
• Stay focused
• Shift between activities
• Remember what to bring
• Manage emotions
• Resist impulses
• Keep track of time
• Resist impulses
• Keep track of time
• Finish what they start
When Everyday Tasks Become a Struggle
A child who repeatedly forgets, loses things, doesn’t start their homework, or becomes emotional may not simply be choosing not to cooperate.
They want to remember everything! They want to get it right! They want to, but there is a disconnect between wanting to and actually doing it.
Sometimes a child doesn’t have the words to explain what is difficult, so the difficulty shows up in behavior.
Understanding Before Trying to Fix
Before giving a consequence for something they didn’t do, have a conversation with your child to see if they even realize they aren’t following through.
Possibly, work with them on choosing just one system that will help.
It could be providing a reminder to check that homework was put in their backpack. It could be making a simple chart they can use to check that everything is ready for school the next day. Or it might mean giving them a shorter list of instructions to follow.
You don’t have to change everything at once.
After trying one thing, observe and ask yourself, “Is this a skill my child is still
developing?”
I understand learning struggles because I’ve spent years supporting children. I also understand the mom behind the child because I know that when a child struggles, the whole family feels it.
Understanding executive functioning isn’t about finding another label for your child. It’s about understanding what skill may need support.
Sometimes, looking beyond the behavior can help us see the child underneath it a little more clearly.
Book a Discovery Call if you’re wondering how to support your child’s learning journey.
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