Helping Your Child Transition Back to School with Confidence
As I thought about this season of transition, I was reminded of words shared by one of my favorite Bible study leaders, Wendy Blight. Her words capture so beautifully the emotions many moms feel as they send their children into a new school year.
“No matter how many first days of school I’ve experienced as a mom, the emotions never seem to change.
I remember sending my children off to elementary school...then middle school...then high school...and eventually college. It feels like only yesterday I was pushing them through Target—Lauren in her Belle gown and sparkly shoes, and Bo proudly wearing his Bob the Builder tool belt.
Every new season held the same tension. My heart was divided between joy for all God had waiting ahead and the ache of letting go of another precious season that would never come again.
And if I’m honest, sending our children into the world today can feel especially heavy. But when fear creeps in, I’m reminded that our children have never been outside of God’s loving care.
Our God is El Roi—the God who sees (Genesis 16:13). He sees every classroom, every hallway, every friendship, every challenge, and every step they take. As Psalm 139 reminds us, He knows their coming and going and has written every one of their days before one of them came to be.”
You can find the above message on Instagram @wblight.
Whether you’re feeling a little anxious about the new school year or your child is struggling with all the changes, I hope Wendy’s words remind you that neither of you walks into this season alone.
There may be lots of emotions in your home right now. Everyone is meeting new teachers. Friends may be in different classrooms or have a different lunch time, and your child may simply be wishing for one familiar face in the middle of all the “newness.” Let’s look at how to ease some of the transitions you and your children may be experiencing.
Creating Calm Morning Rhythms
Believe it or not, creating a calm morning starts the night before. Getting enough sleep helps children regulate their emotions and stay alert throughout the school day.
The Night Before
Without thinking about it, adults have a sleep routine that they do each night. You have created an order of things that you do, which tells your brain and body, “It’s time to sleep.”
Children need their parents to guide them while they’re young, so these rhythms become natural as they grow older. For example, laying out everyone’s clothes the night before saves time because the decision has already been made. Backpacks are in their designated spot, lunches are packed, and water bottles are filled the night before so everything can be quickly grabbed and ready for the morning.
Sleep Environment
Other ways to support a peaceful bedtime rhythm include turning screens off after dinner, keeping their room dark with perhaps a soft night light, and filling and turning on the diffuser before bedtime.
When establishing a consistent bedtime rhythm, it may also be helpful to use visual pictures for younger children. They can use a washable marker or stickers so they can mark off what they have completed as they get ready for bed.
Modeling calm behavior and being as consistent as you can will help your child fall asleep faster. When things come up that change their bedtime, give yourself some grace. Then when you can, return to the bedtime rhythm you’ve found that works best for your family.
Creating Calm Mornings
Since the backpacks are in their spot, lunches were made the night before, and clothes are laid out, your morning should flow smoothly, right? Yes, hopefully.
However, there will be mornings when someone wakes up on the “wrong side of the bed.” When this happens, as the parent, you become the emotional regulator. It may not feel easy in the moment, but children need us to show them how to handle their own “grumpiness.”
The best way to show them is to stay calm, lower your voice, get down to eye level with them, and say something like, “It looks like you’re having a rough start to your morning,” or “I see you are upset,” to show empathy.
Avoid dismissing their feelings or rushing the process. This probably isn’t the best moment for a consequence because they may not have slept well, or something else may be contributing to their emotions.
As adults, we have those mornings and know how to adjust our attitude. Children need guidance so they can be shown how to adjust their attitude, too. Remaining calm will often help shorten the grumpiness.
This happened more than once at our house. A couple of times, my son got in the car in his pajamas. I had his school clothes with me, and by the time we got to school, he asked to change into his clothes. As he got out of the car, he was back to himself.
A few times, we showed up at school a little bit late because one of my children needed an extra hug and some reassurance that things were going to be okay. You’ll have to choose what works best at your house.
Remaining calm and letting them know they are loved is one of the best ways to help “turn their frown upside down,” as told in the book The Pout-Pout Fish.
Speaking Encouragement Over Your Child
We all need encouragement when life changes. You may be that friend who reached out to someone who recently moved or started a new job. When you’ve blessed someone with a sweet message or a Scripture verse sent their way, it helped. Your children need that, too.
Ways to Encourage Your Children
Children are not only learning academics at school. They are learning who they are, how they fit in, and whether they feel capable. A small reminder from home can carry them through a difficult day.
Putting a sweet note in their lunch or backpack when they get to school can go a long way throughout their school year. If it’s possible, dropping off a special treat or bringing their lunch as a special occasion when they’re having a rough patch can help, too.
Think about what would encourage you during a difficult day. Chances are, similar gestures will encourage your child, too. Children are different, and you know them better than anyone else. When you notice they could use a little bit of encouragement, find ways that will be supportive to them.
When Big Feelings Show Up After School
Once the rhythm of school is going, you may see some outbursts after school, tears, or clinginess come out of the blue. Your child isn’t sick, yet you’re trying to figure out what’s going on.
They’re at home! As odd as it may be, home is where they feel safe. They’ve held in their frustrations, sadness, and feelings of being off all day. Once they get home, those feelings come out. It can be a sign of trust when they release those emotions in front of you.
If you’d like to read more about this topic, this blog goes into more about Why Your Child Falls Apart at Home: Understanding Meltdowns, Behavior, and Emotional Regulation.
The same calm response you practiced when they woke up on the wrong side of the bed can help during these after-school moments, too.
Your response may look different depending on your child’s age. If you know they can share about what’s going on, let them know you’re there and ready to listen. Or if they’re younger, simply hold them until they feel better.
Sometimes, children are just really hungry when they get in the car or off the bus. Having a simple, healthy snack with protein and some fruit can help adjust their big feelings.
If it’s close to dinner time, have them eat dinner as soon as they get home. This takes some planning and probably using a slow cooker or Instant Pot to have dinner ready.
Moms Need Support, Too
As moms, we spend so much energy helping our children adjust that we sometimes forget we’re adjusting, too. A new school year brings change for the whole family.
It’s normal to feel excitement, relief, sadness, uncertainty, or even a little exhaustion as everyone settles into new routines. Just as your children need extra grace during this season, so do you.
As you navigate the new school year, things may not always go the way you thought they would. Maybe one of your children is struggling in school. It could be a specific subject, difficulty keeping up with assignments, frustration during homework, or simply the feeling that they are working harder than their peers.
You may notice something feels different, and your mama intuition is telling you to pay attention.
Trusting what you are observing does not mean you have to have all the answers right away. Sometimes it means taking time to watch, ask questions, gather information, and learn more about what your child needs. Other times, it means reaching out for support because you aren’t sure where to begin.
I walked in these shoes as a mom, and I spent 15 years helping students with learning differences. I understand how overwhelming it can feel when you see your child struggling and you’re trying to figure out the next step.
My goal is to help moms feel less alone by offering resources, encouragement, and guidance as they support their child’s learning journey.
You don’t have to navigate these moments by yourself. Sometimes the first step is simply having someone who will listen, help you organize what you’re seeing, and point you toward helpful resources.
Building Your Support Team
Over the years, I’ve intentionally gathered trusted resources because I remember how overwhelming it felt to wonder, “Who do I call first?” or “Where do I even begin?”
My hope isn’t to overwhelm you with more information. It’s to give you a place to start.
Every child’s journey looks different. Sometimes you may need encouragement, sometimes you may need information, and sometimes you may need someone with specific expertise to come alongside your family.
Sometimes the greatest gift isn’t having all the answers. It’s knowing where to begin and having someone walk beside you.
As this school year unfolds, remember that you don’t have to have every answer today.
One gentle rhythm.
One encouraging conversation.
One small step at a time is enough.
One encouraging conversation.
One small step at a time is enough.
God sees your child.
He sees you, too.
He sees you, too.
And if you ever need someone to come alongside you as you navigate school challenges, learning differences, or simply wonder what your next step should be, I’d be honored to walk that journey with you.
If you’re noticing your child is struggling, or you simply need someone to help you think through your next step, I’d be honored to support you.
0 Comments